Why do we even bothers?

Sometimes, your closest friends end up hurting you more than your worst enemies would ever come close to

Losing grip of friendships that meant the world to me - because it just doesn't feel the same way anymore - when subtle attacks seem to come across unnoticed by everyone else but me

, when assimilating becomes self-loss, when physicalities are an obsession, and there's no substance to conversations but the superficial, fakeness of everything that seem mundane -

Still unnoticed? haih, so does that make me the bad person - or are these silent "conflicts" are just a thing in my head, which by all means, I hope so - but I have kept quiet and took "everything" - put up with things that may have annoyed me -  I must've been quite annoying myself around my friends - yknow, come to think of it, what do I mean by "everything"? - How long has this been going on? Things that I know but couldn't say - grey areas, taboo issues - he said, she said - so who's telling the truth, who isn't - does it really matter? what matters more in the long run? 

 what if the friend was the one who changed? - what if it was me who changed? - I don't know what is going on - but I know something's off - What if you tried to fix it - was it fixable? did it work? - I don't know - what about all the things you know? things they don't know you know, things you just push aside so that its easier to just go drama free.

"You know what they say, life's good until everyone starts being honest."

 You know what, I completely completely understand and acknowledge, that I'm not much fun to be with, and my attitude sometimes is just too much, and I'm too honest when I want to be, too loud, I talk too much when I should just shut up, I have mood swings when things go wrong, and I attract people to hate my guts. So if you don't like me, just act like you don't like me, end of story. 

Stop bitching-the moment u think you are better than everyone else is the moment you start bitching about them!