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This Is my Now

There was time where I packed my dreams away
Living In a shell & hiding from  myself 
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I'd reached the end,
But that was then
I am now made of more than my yesterdays
This is my now,and I am breathing in the moment

As I look around,
My Fears are behind me, Gone,
they had become the shadows and doubts
and-that was then,this is my now
I find the strength to take step of faith

I've settled for less,but ready for more-this is me now
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Why do we even bothers?

Sometimes, your closest friends end up hurting you more than your worst enemies would ever come close to


Losing grip of friendships that meant the world to me - because it just doesn't feel the same way anymore - when subtle attacks seem to come across unnoticed by everyone else but me
, when assimilating becomes self-loss, when physicalities are an obsession, and there's no substance to conversations but the superficial, fakeness of everything that seem mundane -
Still unnoticed? haih, so does that make me the bad person - or are these silent "conflicts" are just a thing in my head, which by all means, I hope so - but I have kept quiet and took "everything" - put up with things that may have annoyed me -  I must've been quite annoying myself around my friends - yknow, come to think of it, what do I mean by "everything"? - How long has this been going on? Things that I know but couldn't say - grey areas, taboo issues - he said, she said - so who's telling the truth, who isn't - does it really matter? what matters more in the long run? 

 what if the friend was the one who changed? - what if it was me who changed? - I don't know what is going on - but I know something's off - What if you tried to fix it - was it fixable? did it work? - I don't know - what about all the things you know? things they don't know you know, things you just push aside so that its easier to just go drama free.


"You know what they say, life's good until everyone starts being honest."

 You know what, I completely completely understand and acknowledge, that I'm not much fun to be with, and my attitude sometimes is just too much, and I'm too honest when I want to be, too loud, I talk too much when I should just shut up, I have mood swings when things go wrong, and I attract people to hate my guts. So if you don't like me, just act like you don't like me, end of story. 

Stop bitching-the moment u think you are better than everyone else is the moment you start bitching about them!
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Life Value

Because by the end of the day, its not about who you know, how you look, what you have put on your back or what you own.

By the end of the day, its the feeling to be accepted and appreciated for who you are inside is what gives life meaning.

Sometimes, I'd talk and nobody would take me seriously.
I'd prove a point, but I'll get dismissed.
Sometimes you'd want to be heard and seen,
But not for all the wrong reasons,
But for something that you said, something remarkable that you did,
Entice me, with substance in what you say,
stimulate me intellectually, feed me with things I don't know.
And I hope I can return the favour.
I know I will try.

Its just, its been a while since I've had a conversation that made me think;
That made me felt like the other person wanted to know what's brewing under these layers of facade I have so routinely practiced... how my mind works, my personality, and what makes me tick.

...Just someone who accepts me, for everything I am, inside out.

When I wake up at 7am, after 2 hours of sleep and looked like shit,
would you still be okay with it?
If I'd dress up like a hobo, face unmade and my hair unkempt,
would you still walk next to me?
If I accidently let out hyena laughter, would you laugh with me..

or would you cringe?

Superficiality is tiresome.

"As I took my heart out in the open, I see it tremble only once before I allow it to be broken"

2
Have to do strict Diet!!
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Im doing fine

I am responsible to what I write,what I said,and with whom Im going out with.
and I know all the consequences.
Jangan lah menjadi terlalu judgemental terhadap saya. 
I still remember what i wrote in this post few months ago.

Yippie

Hooray,someone went to Beijing and bought me something.
Cheers!! :)

Beijing,Beijing...eh Baliiiiiii!!!!!!
People will still hate u and judge u no matter what u do!
so what the heck,im living my life and Im totally Happy with it.

football ;p

I played almost every type of game involved ball.
Named it? bola jaring,bola baling,bola tampar,
basketball,football ;p(futsal for girls).


My team now plays futsal for faculty of medicine in the University level. I had a lot of scheduled match with other faculty.


And btw,I got basketball match tomorrow.  >.<. So long I havent play basket,wish me luck. Oh btw Edward is so damn expert for basketball! He remind me dont be too Naughty!

im proud im one of them.

darn!

this is what i felt now.Horrible and Heartache. Sakit!
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Do u think its worth it if I bought a jacket that cost almost half price of a ticket flight to Jogjakarta?
3

double joy!

''sometimes what a person need not a brilliant mind to speaks but a patient heart that listens''

So,i just got back from shopping with pa & ma.
Nothing much to do on sunday evening on lazy holiday and all my heart and mind flew away back to place i ve been living and studying since2007.
I admit my half life is there and Im looking forward to come back to Jogja.

Papa request for me to celebrate Aidil Adha here in Malaysia.I just cant bear to say NO
but my mind and heart is away-in Jogja.
Happy news,will fly back in a week time.
arghh tak sabar dan tak pernah rasa excited mcm ni kalau nk balik Jogja.
With Pray n Love I hope everything gonna be alright after this.
Amin>
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Happy Birthday Abah

Abah
Istana bahagia ini abah bina 
bersama warna warni kehidupan 
bersama rentetan kesengsaraan 
semangat dan pengorbanan ini 
menjadi nafas kedaulatan keluarga

dan hari ini
teratai berkembang mekar
disinari mentari pagi
dirgahayu buatmu, abah.
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soon.

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Sunny Morning!

Fatin,mata dah bengkak!! tutorial is at 8,so please stop or start create an answer for ur friends question about the eyes!!
Hoping this sunny morning will bring sun to my heart .
Lets just bear with today packed timetable until night.

''Never give up on things that make u smile"
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Total sum up.

I had received (somehow I can say ) a heartbreaking letter from a best friend. Kenapa heartbreaking?sebab dia org yg paling rapat dgn kita dan somehow kita harap dia dah cukup kenal kita untuk tau kenapa kita buat sesuatu. tapi mungkin lebih baik kita cakap sahaja kenapa kita buat mcm tu? entahlah. 




women and men langguage are different.
women langguage "I am okay"-->she is not okay and she need u to somehow just understand her langguage and care and ask back,hey,are u okay?
man langguage ''I am okay"-->Leave me alone,I'll talk to u later.


I cried reading it. If u read this,I will reply but not anytime soon. And if u think why I had time to write my blog and why not reply your letter,because I dont have energy to do so.I need time to reply since Our friendship had involve too much thicks and thins I just couldnt bear to lost you or even the memories of the friendship. Or maybe 

my expectation is too high, I easily hurt myself.




 For tomorrow I still have a packed schedule and still hoping that I can get the car back by tomorrow n not causing me any trouble anymore (the break lamp wasnt working and theres a short circuit somewhere in the machine) and I dont want to be dependant on anyone for transportation. 
Got a schedulded Medical check up with my Internist and heart consultant.
I am somehow looking forward for the painful medical procedural,so I had a concrete reason to cry.
or maybe I can continue crying about tonight.crying the heart loud for tomorrow sampai nurse terkejut.
Eh budak ni terover cry ke,br amik darah 5cc. Eh darah pekat la,bruises tangan saya.


This may seem short and not like expectation but,somehow I want u to know I will reply it longer than "salam, & takde"


Faizal:mungkin betul kata ko,aku kena reply msg lbh pnjg dr 1 line.tapi kalau tengah tido mcm mane?Kena cuba balas msg lbh pnjg supaya takde misscommunication kat situ.ok.


Take Care. Salam.


"Same feelings we feel, same things we do, same stories we share: make good friendship we've been through."

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If you're bored with life, if you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things 
- you don't have enough goals. -Lou Holtz
2

Hard

I can't get anything done around here. Everything's just so hard. No one to mengadu to except this place here where I can't even write what I want. Ish tu pun cannot. how la.
The week passed,but i somehow felt left alone lonely.
Even i was surrounded with a lots of friends and had few dinner invitation.
I had that certain particular feeling of emptiness after mama n papa had went back to Malaysia,im left alone again and had to be independent for myself where than I just felt like,i wanna run away from this life.
I drove the car alone to campus on Monday morning,still adapting and on recovery phase.It was hard. And again I just had to be strong for OSCE IPM exam at 1pm.
exam done around 5pm,pack for myself KFC and 2 sundaes ice-cream I had been craving since Im admitted.
The emptiness feeling last till today,and it still didnt go away
even after i had for myself parsley dinner
tried a new cafe owned by my friend(went there twice)
filled my cravings for coffee and went to Begawan Solo twice just to lepak and meratap nasib sendiri time hujan-hujan malam-malam tak sedar diri that i just recover and still have to go control at the hospital till next week.(kalau doctor internist aku tau mati laaa)
eat 2 big bar of cadbury chocolate,and still,my mood is swinging
watched the premier of eat,pray & love-but wasnt satisfied and like expected through the novel but I did cried at few scenes where it touches my heart-I am seriously dealing with emotional problem this week.
Went to Amplaz and seriously wanted to find some clothes for campus.tried a few nice one,and end up not buying anything.(macam tak pernah keluar dari amplaz tu tak beli apa-apa).
Whats happening to me?
Eat dunkin donuts on saturday morning and end up at Kedai kopi around 10pm and balik rumah malam-malam pukul 12am and takut sendiri even dalam kereta sbb sorang-sorang and tak ade anyone accompany me back home like it used to be if we plan to come back late.Takut hantu or takut ada org jahat yg menyorok kat mana-mana and bila nampak perempuan keluar dari kereta malam-malam dia akan serbu and rompak kereta. worst kalau dia culik aku kan.haish fatin,berani betul kau balik malam sendiri?
Bukan takde kawan tapi kawan sibuk dgn bf masing-masing?
or ada kawan tapi tak rasa perlu ceritakan dekat dia semuanya?
or ada kawan tapi kawan tu nak manfaatkan kau sebab kau ada kereta?
ada kawan tapi perlukan masa untuk diri sendiri?


sebab tu,life is full of choices. and kadang-kadang rasa kalau jadi lelaki lagi best dari jadi perempuan.less complicated life?
atau perlu tambahkan solat-solat sunat,tahajud dan solat sunat taubat bukan solat hajat sahaja seperti kata sudin dalam blog dia.


rasa nak lari sekarang and pindah duduk negeri lain. start new life,get to know new people.but are u sure u wont feel lonely,u wont feel empty??


What im doing now is just to have faith and to go with the life flow.
Faith is a knowledge within the heart,beyond the reach of proof.Kahlil Gibran.



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Randomicity.

I had been hospitalized for 8 days because of acute bronchitis. I had already had the feverish symptom since 3rd oct where than,I went to the hospital to check on my sinusitis and my allergy rhinitis. And the week before I fall sick,i work quite hard and skip meals and come back late because i worked a lot in the lab.I target to finish up PCR & Electrophoresis by the end of week 6 before my block exam.
It didnt go like what I expected.
During week 6,what I did was sleeping all day after I ate my meds.It wasnt a productive week for me.I went to class,make note,come back and sleep.And I had experienced dyspnea and shortness of breath during the days and nights. I went back to the hospital to complain about my shortness of breath and the doctor said,my shortness of breath maybe because of my heart problem. He said he listens to a pre-systolic murmur and referred me to the heart specialist in the hospital.

I went back there on Friday evening,9oct for some medical checkup with the heart specialist.and the heart specialist was my Tutor,so she straightly remember my name. She perform ECG prosedur on me while saying "I wont asked u to do ecg for ueself since now u are my patient,and I was like errrr,black,blue,red,yellow,which is where"haiyoooo,lupa!
After the ECG prosedural,i am assist for some Echocardiography prosedural.
Im amazed to see my heart,with all the 4 chambers,the aorta,pulmonal,and mitral valve.
The doctor showed me my mitral valve insufficiency and the blood regurgitation. It was around 3%.
After im done with my echocardiography prosedural,i was told by fareez(he waited outside the room)that nani,our batchmates,was admitted to the hospital because of typhoid fever.we went upstairs to visit her.
Back,had dinner around 10pm with him and back.My body just couldnt compromise anymore and,i was chilling on my bed around 2am. I sms-ed him saying that I think I should go to the hospital now,I just couldn't bear the chilling.
Arrived at the hospital and was admitted at the wad around 3am. I was accompany by him and my housemate.
One sweet memories i can remember about staying in the hospital was eating KFC with both jaja n fareez,comel mcm siblings!
and the rest was all the painfull medical prosedural which causes bruises and phlebitis hand :(
Im glad papa and mama came to visit me,they fly off from malaysia to Yogyakarta to visit me. Alhamdullilah :)
I am now bebas bersyarat from the Hospital.and have to come and control again next friday on 29th of oct..
I am sick for the whole month! shall I say unproductive month?
3-8 oct,had already suffer feverish and rhinitis.was on drug prescribed by hospital.
9-15 oct was hospitalised.
15-22oct was given mc and asked for a bed rest in the house(but i still go to class n dyspnea once a while)
22oct-control at the hospital.(went alone)
29oct-control again at the hospital with another blood test.
25oct-another scheduled echocardiography session with my heart specialist.

was on prescribed drugs and vitamins.and was released by the hospital with limited activity to do.sigh..no early morning jogs!
btw,dont pity me for my mitral valve insufficiency.It can be consider as physiologic for my body.

Syawal Celebration

We had a syawal Celebration for the batch 2007 at one of the batchmates house.
Here are some of the pictures :p


Me and shall i say the partner in crime?

The girls in turquoise.jaja,me,tikah & sara :)

sudin ter'hensem' pulak kat sini.so wajib letak.

the best friends.awak makan kat dapur pun saya ikut T__T

the girls of the batch.
the guys of the batch.

the malay guy of the batch,sila pilih nak yang mana.
merah,hijau,biru,hitam,hijau,coklat,kelabuuuuu.

For more pictures,visit my facebook profile,there are 139photos there.
Good Luck Batch 2007 through the battles.
"Selamat Hari Raya,Maaf Zahir & Batin"
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letter to edward.

I had a talk with an old friend. I haven't met him almost 3 months since last we meet up and catch up on june..enough said. . Somehow Im glad with the choice I made.

;letting go is hard, especially when emotions run deep. But remember, sometimes holding on can hurt much more.


I walked away and live my life because hoping and holding on wasn't the best choice.





We talked a lot,mostly about life.He asked me about my research,how is it going on in the biology molecular Lab.
well i said,Alhamdullilah its going on very well,but need to spend more time doing it. 4months ago,I couldnt see the light at the end of tunnel,filled with just so many dissapointments and let downs by those I cared about but i've learned to let go of people and relationships that were not working for me,and that was by far,the best decision I ever made..


I want to say this to certain someone if you ever read this: ''I rebuild my life after you,I make my everyday worth living,I get myself occupied and Im glad making the choice i made,to walk away,it was hard at first but I made it to who I am now and i still keeping my head up because it a harsh world out there.'';I did a lot of things during the past months im not with you,I joined Yoga,i went swimming,i explore new restaurants and places to eat,i jog,i lost more weight,i looked more awesome,and u were shocked seeing me getting thinner and awesome because u expected to see me at my worst.I used the opportunity and time that I had for myself to be  better than who I am before,and I achieved a lot.What had u achieved in past months?u didnt even know where Pastagio is?Im truly sorry for you edward,u need something for urself to get occupied with besides ur boring life and the same daily routine and the same places to eat .
I even got 98.67 for my neurology osce examination!! Im tough enough for this and it beyond what i know until i truly let it go. "ikhlas'' and truly being ikhlas has reward me with this.Me saying goodbye reward me with new hello. God plan is just beyond what we know.


Dont get me wrong to see me talking to you like nothing is ever happened.I learned to be strong everyday and i had mastered the skill of hating.I used to think to just delete you from my friend list but im not stupid and childish enough to do so. 
And now I can just laugh looking back at the past.
Or even,not pretending to be cool and calm when talking to you anymore.
I can even look into those eyes while talking to you.Those eyes didnt make me helplessly drown anymore
thank you for the memories,it nice to had some memories to cling on.
We might be friend again,but maybe not as closed as before.


And today,here I am,rolled up into someone better and I thank you for the experiences.
Thankyou for breaking my heart,losing you made me found who I am.
'when you cant remember why you're hurt,that's when u are healed-Jane Fonda'


Life's Pretty darn amazing right now.Hope yours is just as fantastic like mine.


Sincerly,
Fatin  Maziah
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an update

Yes I realized I haven't write for quite sometimes. Being occupied doing lab work and classes plus I don't really love the idea of telling everyone everything about me and my daily life. So dont ask me to upload my Raya pictures in facebook,I didnt upload my Raya pictures since 2006,neither on fs nor in fb,why do now?because it is so not me.People stand for their principle,I had mine,deal with it and im not the narcist whom take my own pic using my blackberry every each single day.No I dont.

I did write 3-4 posts which after I finished writing it,I dont publish it. I just wont tell with whom im having sahur and buka puasa with or even what i bought for the certain someone.

Yesterday was Liana(the bestfren) last night here in Jogja,the place I stayed n study for almost 4 year now.
So I invited Sudin to have dinner with us since im close too sudin too.(Yes I came back a few days early,to have the Jogja holiday with her and plus,I got Car here,what do u expect me to do?leave it for 2 weeks without starting the engine,the car battery can go weak ok.)

While having dinner,we kinda have what sudin called as"heavy talks",Sudin,since when does we have not have one?(the heavy talks)..
On my way back to my home,while I was driving,Sudin suddenly came up again with a question that ound like this: "Fatin,u pilih lelaki yang pakai kereta ke,pakai motor besar ke or moto bese-bese je macam scooter"
Liana pula make a correction of Sudin question by :"sudin you should ask her,fatin u pilih lelaki naik kereta mercedes ke naik kereta brand malaysia"
I was like,EH! sudin kenapa tanya soalan macam tu? and said to liana eh i tak kesah la naik mercedes ke tak,I pun org biasa-biasa je.

Few months ago,i closed and private my blog to few invited readers.why?(because the idea of everyone reading about my private life)..and now in new blog,hoping (as a vain)  in attempt to forget the past,because someone who looked too long at the past will certainly miss the future!.
But today,im glad I did what I did.
A few regrets that i've had to live along the way
and a few things that I have to try to fix it.

Maybe some friendships aren't meant to be saved. maybe we're meant to spend a certain part of our life with certain people and then move on."


So bila orang tanya I,kenapa Im still single sedangkan I can have one
or kadang-kadang orang cakap I terlalu memilih or even cakap I jual mahal or standard I terlalu tinggi for a guy;
Its because the last time I opened my heart to a guy,He take it for granted,some of them just doesnt know that I had lowered my standard to be with them and still,they didnt even know how to thank you for that.
Buat perangai macam-macam,and than said back to me that Im not sure with you because u're a rich girl and came from rich family,the way u being raised and Im being raised is different.Im afraid of it.Alasan je sume tu sebab kau dah mula buat perangai. It aint worth it folks.It just ain't.
So,why on earth should we settle for second best?So that yo can get your heart trashed by those second best?I really dont think so!.

Here is a quote from Shakespeare that I like..
"When I got Enough confidence, the stage was gone. When I was sure of losing, I won. When I needed people the most, they went left me. When I learned to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on. When I mastered the skill of Hating, somebody started loving me. When after waiting for dawn, I feel Asleep,, The Sun Came out. That's Life "


when i started to accept that certain someone,he's gone.thats my life.


I think i had answered most of all of ur guys questions..cheers!
I had a lifetime to find the other half,the soulmate,the one who can fix the puzzle in my heart,ain't I rite Liana?

and it wasnt too late to wish for HAPPY EID EVERYONE!sorry for all the wrong doings,from the bottom of my heart.

from jogja,with love :)
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Salam Perantauan ;p



    Sender Name: Razin Bin Bosro Faiq 
    Sender Location: Virginia Tech University, Blacksburg Virginia, USA 
    Recipient Name: To the family and the movement, movement in Malaysia
     Recipient Location: Kuala Lumpur, Shah Alam, Selangor
    Greetings: Want to say Happy Hari Raya Aidilfitri Zahir & inner sorry
    Kapsyen Preview: New York City.United States of America.  

brother, can i borrow your Mercedes.benz? btw i miss u very much.
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Nothing revives the past so completely as a smell that was once associated with it.Vladimir Nabokov
0

A wonder woman and an Earthquake.

I had my menstrual pain last night. I slept around 11pm Jogja time right after i sms Fareez malaysia number to remind him that his room key and bike key is with me and awake at 2am in the morning,i continue doing my work until I have to take my bath and work in my Lab at 8am.I only slept 3 hours on holiday,I have trouble sleeping.I remind him because who knows he might forget it because way too excited packing things and all.I told him that i might be able to pick him up at the airport but i got my research at biomolecular lab going on too at 8am. My plan was,to do the sample solution for PCR material,PCR it before 9 and by 9am,i can drive straightly to the airport and pick him by the time his flight landed at 9.30am.I dont mind leaving the PCR because I will usually have to wait for 3 hours for the sample in the PCR machine and will usually kill time by reading the journal.So why not get myself occupied,and pick him up,send him to his house,and hand him the key he handed to me before he went back. But I was wrong,his flight landed at 8.30am and at that time Im making the solution sample in the Lab and he have to get a taxi back home but I'll be coming there for sure to give him his room key.

Went to his place,park my car and,suddenly he came out from nowhere,open the car door. I help him with the luggages(i acctually taking the paper bag and he took the luggage ;p) went straight to his room,and I open the room door,halfway until i realised,it wasnt my room.It happened spontaneously where i did enter his room once to pick up things in there while he is not around. I apologized and He said it was okay. He said I have to wait outside the room because He got to pack something for me.The 'something,something' He said last night.
He sweat packing the things.He handed me a cute box and said my mum bought this box and asked me to put ribbon on it but I dont know where is the ribbon.I was like,ala malu la,why have to ask mum for help.
Im pretty sure,mesti la semua org ada rasa malu kan,and in my situation,sy segan la,his mum choose the present for me,for my last birthday and now,this and the box. Rasenya org muka tebal je la tak tau segan n malu kot. Fareez,if u read this,i forgot if I had said thanks to ur mum and Fairuz,but I had thanks them deep in the heart and for sure,u too.Thanks sebab ingat kat i! ;p.

He insisted to follow me back to the Lab and see how the PCR is going on the Lab. I agreed. Drive back to campus,park and went to biomolecular Lab,but since the PCR will only end at 12noon,i said,lets go,its a waste if u waited there,lets settle ur things. I followed him to Inter programme and found out it was closed,so we took picture.His mum wanted to see the campus pic but he was so lazy to pose.


the "im too lazy to pose" and tired face!

He still wanted to follow me doing my research in the lab but I want him to go get his sleep and rest. He just arrived this morning,and I knew he acctually tired and sleepy by looking at the face.He agreed to go back and get his sleep,I accompany him to get a new Indonesia number since his old number is not active anymore. Sent him back to his place and went back to campus to continue PCR and Electrophoresis. I finished at my Lab around 3pm.
Went back and open the box.I smiled.He is so  sweet sometimes and I am too manja sometimes.Haha. I got a new Teddy Bear,which is soft and cuddly,but felt ashamed at the same time knowing his mum pick it for me.
Since me myself is quite tired,not getting enough sleep and had been doing PCR since morning till noon.I get a nap and awake before 4pm,making him some chocolate pudding.
I wake him around 5pm,get ready and pick him at his place,went straight to the Mall to open fast together.(Im not fasting today acctually but i only drank some water and eat some biscuit).Im a wonder woman didn't i?
But i still dont know how mum can do all the things she did since im a baby.My mummy is my wonder woman :)

I drive,He ate the pudding and we arrived the Mall.Ordered a food and He left me for a while to perform Maghrib prayer.Lucky me he is back before the earthquake happen. We were eating at that time and suddenly we felt the movement and shaking and suddenly everyone were up,left their food and went rushing. I looked at him and we stand about to went out and follow the crowds.We were at the 3rd floor and shall be headed to roof top.My hand and Leg was shaking and Im traumatized for a while. I felt it few times before since first year,but this is the strongest one,I can really felt that someone acctually move my chair.This was very scary.A very scary experienced though. He went to pay and the waiter wanted to pack the food for us,I said its ok,we shall just wait. We sat back and continue eating but unsure if there will be another earthquake after the first one.I even said this to him,"Fareez,my mum tau i keluar jalan dgn u,ur mum also knew it".Lets just hope that they dont find us in bodies.Serius da terbayang kat situ kalau la bagunan ni runtuh,they might find my body or his or both of us if we didnt make it and one thing i might apologized to my dad is about the car in the basement. Mesti kereta tu remuk kena hempap.Ok,i dont want to talk about it anymore. Imagination about earthquake is scary.Truly,ajal and maut di tangan Tuhan. We just dont know where,when and with whom..
Alhamdullilah in the Shelter of Allah swt,no one were hurt. 
We learned a lesson from it.


Fareez and me continue chatting and sharing experience,about the holiday and all. Havent i said,absence makes the heart grow fonder? it is! :)


I got a new cuddle for tonight.I hope this will help me sleep better.
thankyouuuu 




Gotta get my nap now,gotta wake him and teman him sahur in few hours!.
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